I woke up this morning wondering, why is my phone sticky?

Oh.

Right.

I flung it into the flaming dessert at dinner last night. Danced right off my fingertips and into a white chocolate bath.

Copious amounts of cabernet or my habitual clumsiness. You be the judge.

It all happened so fast, Arturo.

I was lovingly dubbed “Miss K” as a kid. K for klutz, my parents confessed years later. (When my delicate psyche could handle the truth).

The epitome of athletic prowess. Clearly.

I'd like to think I've shed gawky, slipping into grace with age...

I haven't.

Some things change. Some things never do.

I'm battling Target on a Saturday. Because baking cupcakes without cupcake liners is... tricky.

The entire aisle dedicated to shamrocks, leprechauns and all things kelly green? A little premature, I think. Until I see the bikinis. Get 'em while they're hot, girls. Because, at this rate, they'll be decking the halls by spring break.

Oh. Have you noticed?

It's a weekend and I'm not at work and it is spectacular.

College football is over. Which means tiiii-iiiiii-iiiime is on my side. (Yes, it is).

Of course, I'm making the most of it. And by making the most of it, I mean baking Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cupcakes. Calculating productivity in sticks of butter here.

I bought this box of cereal on a whim. Shocking. (Listen to your mother when she tells you never to go grocery shopping on an empty stomach). It's been staring at me for a couple of weeks now. I might've had a bowl or three for dinner - twice - before deciding those sugary squares belonged elsewhere...

Like on a cupcake. (A belated birthday cupcake for a dear amigo, to be exact). Brilliant, Pinterest. Brilliant.

So.... I'm bidding adieu to the cereal. Reverting back to my plain old, fiberlicious, rabbit-food-looking Kashi. But I'm keeping the Kung Fu Panda toy.

"What are these?"

Calorie bombs.

See also, magic sandwiched between magic.

I can't take credit for the idea. (Hello. Nutter Butters). But I can (and did) slap a homemade spin on it.

Informal poll... Could I pull off quitting my job to sell these bad boys? Pastry pimp. Lucrative, no?

(A quick Google search reveals politically correct terms for "pimp" include entertainment procurer and nocturnal negotiator. Don't say I never taught you anything).

Now here's the recipe, yo.

Peanut Butter Oatmeal Cookies:

(From Broma Bakery)

1 1/2 cups quick oats


1/2 cup flour


1/2 cup sugar


1/2 cup brown sugar


1/2 teaspoon baking powder


1/2 teaspoon baking soda


1/2 teaspoon salt


1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract


1/2 cup creamy peanut butter

1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened


1 egg

350°F. Mix the oats, flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Set aside. Mix butter, both sugars, egg, peanut butter, and vanilla. Pour oat mixture into peanut butter mixture, stirring until just mixed. Place rounded teaspoonfuls of batter on an ungreased baking sheet. Bake for 8-9 minutes.

(And Creamy Peanut Butter Frosting. Bam).

This is the part where I tell you all about my new year and the bundle of goals I've set and how wonderfully I've stuck to my resolutions.

But I can't.

Because I've been far too busy with my KitchenAid mixer.

Is it normal to covet a kitchen appliance?

(Shrugs).

Because I have for a while now.

Time to unleash the shiny, chrome beast on some Nutella Whoopie Pies. (Or as that saucy little Giada would say, in her best faux-talian, "Nooo-TAY-luh").

Nutella Cream Cheese Frosting

Ingredients:

8 oz cream cheese, close to room temperature

2 tbl unsalted butter, room temperature

1 c powdered sugar, sifted

3/4 c Nutella

1 t vanilla extract

Directions: In the bowl of the mixer, cream together cream cheese & butter until smooth. Add powdered sugar and combine. Add Nutella and vanilla and mix until completely incorporated. Now lick the beaters and the sides of the bowl and if you have leftovers, feel free to smoosh it between the pies.