Responsible, law-abiding motorist that I am... (I got two parking tickets last month)... I flip my blinker on and inch into traffic as the edge of a nubby tire grazes my front bumper.
I smash the horn.
He flies off, like a rabid bat, on one wheel.
I scream things that rhyme with cheese and rice and shouldn't be screamed on Ash Wednesday.
His scraggly ponytail flaps in the wind, already blocks away.
Yes, I did. I nearly took out a grown-ass man popping wheelies on a tiny child's bike, complete with handlebar streamers.