You know where that slice of pie is?

(In my belly).

Sure, I could decline the frosted snowman sugar cookies and festive bag-fulls of flavored popcorn and chocolate bars the size of my face. But I don't. Because I'd hate to be a Grinch. (Or... I have zero self-control during the month of December).

Christmas is the opportune time to pound sugary treats like it's my business.

My pants disagree.

That cellophane bag, all cutesy with its glittery candy cane tag?

It's taunted the shit out of me all week. Sitting on my desk, loaded with loot like this...

So guess what I did?

Chopped it up... all of it... and dropped it in some cookie dough.

Call it an effort to keep my (already-chubby) cheeks from doing their best marshmallow impression. And don't ask questions. You cram eight kinds of candy bar into cookie dough and it's going to be good.