Brilliant ideas sometimes... aren't.

Like chucking your keys off the fourth floor balcony.

"Toss them...."

"I'll come down and and let you in..."

"No. Toss them. But toss them hard so they don't land in the neighbor's lawn."

Don't tell a competitive person to toss anything hard.

You get a screaming, four-seam fastball at the face... and a slightly cracked gate clicker that now works forty percent of the time, every time.

(In hindsight, a gentle basket toss would've sufficed).

But then backwards ideas sometimes are. (Brilliant, that is).

Like ice cream for dinner.

"South Congress around 5? New place called Lick?"

"Lamar?"

"YES. That one. Been there?"

"No, but I hang out at the bar next door." (If only we could answer all life's questions that way).

So.... Lick. Delicious double entendre.

Their mission? Thrill patrons with inventive flavors crafted with local ingredients. They've been doing it (and doing it well) since October, so says thick black frames with the scoop. (I renege the 'new' adjective tacked onto initial reference).

Small, simple, pure. (Batches of artisan ice cream and storefront alike). Blackberry Lemon & Basil. Caramel Salt Lick. Spicy Coconut & Peanut, with a cayenne dusting. Like a karate kick to the throat.

Me on the left. Two Scoops McGee. Homemade waffle cone, blow-ing-my-mind... 

Ice cream for dinner. Like white after Memorial Day, totally acceptable. And even when it's not, it is. 

They call it the Texas Stop Sign.

That retro red emblem stamped with giant, white block letters.

But I'd bet a steak finger basket it's not the signage that's got you flipping the blinker for the next exit.

Nope... the siren song is of the soft-serve variety.

(The only "restaurant" in my mom's tiny West Texas hometown for years... she'll tell you all about summers worked, swirling & dipping cones).

A rule of thumb - the smaller the population, the greater the odds a Dairy Queen falls within county lines. (Doing the math in my head. Inversely proportional... right, nerds? Somebody dip back into eighth grade geometry and confirm that for me). 

But there's this one... this stray urban locale, a few blocks down the street... 

I motor past it twice a day. Don't give it much thought.  Until two days and three words ago. 

Confetti.

Cake.

Blizzard. 

Flashing before my eyes, in red neon lights... Blizzard of the Month, you minx. I want to spoon you down. Every last bite. And the only thing stopping me... is 127 grams of sugar. (If nutritional calculators could suck fat like they suck fun, we'd be in business). 

What's a sweet-toothed, sometimes-sort-of-health-conscious citizen to do?

CUPCAKE ADAPTATION. That's what.

Eat one. Eat two. Because look at how many sugary calories you're not ingesting.

Stealth rationale. Turning Confetti Cupcakes into health food.

How you like them sprinkles?

One-Bowl Confetti Cupcakes

1 box yellow cake mix
1 cup sour cream
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1/4 cup water
1/3 cup sugar
1/3 cup flour
3 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup rainbow jimmies (er, sprinkles)


Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Line your cupcake pans.

Mix all the ingredients together in the bowl of a standing mixer with a paddle attachment. Beat on low speed for 2 minutes. Scoop batter into cupcake liners (about halfway full) and bake for 12 to 14 minutes. Cool in the pan for a few, and then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely. Frost accordingly.




{Basic Vanilla Buttercream Recipe} 

A dessert with no name.

I unhinge the lid of the impenetrable cupcake carrier I'm lugging around, soccer-mom style. 

"What are those?"

I shrug. 

Chocolate and cookie dough and more chocolate. 

(And chocolate chips). 

(And peanut butter).

"Well, what do you call them?"

I shrug again. 

A fudge-y, cake-y, cookie dough-y triple decker orb? 

"I want the recipe for... those.... those things."

That, I can do.

With a tip of the cap to Love & Olive Oil and the Cookie Dough Lover's Cookbook - the Bible for those who dive greedily into dough and subscribe to the "oven optional" theory. (Un-furrow your brows and clink your beaters, salmonella-phobes. This recipe is egg-free and safe for bowl-licking). 

Eggless Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

1 stick unsalted butter

1/2 c. granulated sugar

1/2 c. light brown sugar, packed

2 tablespoons milk or cream

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

1 1/4 c. flour

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 c. mini semisweet chocolate chips

In a large bowl, beat butter and sugars on medium speed until light and fluffy, 2 to 3 minutes. Mix in milk and vanilla. Stir in flour and salt and mix on low speed (or by hand) until incorporated. Stir in chocolate chips. Refrigerate up to three days.

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{Chocolate Whoopie Pie Recipe, via Love & Olive Oil}

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{Chocolate Peanut Butter Glaze Recipe - A jumble of ingredients and odd steps. Trust the process. It comes together to form the most ridiculous, satiny glaze} 

*Some assembly required.

**And if you concoct a clever name, holler.